He regarded me with a half-smile, wide-set brown eyes friendly and inquisitive. Soft hazel flecks in them caught the evening sun. His dark, shoulder-length hair was combed off his face, tucked behind his ears like it annoyed him rather than as a fashion statement, and the shadows of the beard making itself known for the night barely masked the adorable cleft in his square chin.
“Hello,” he said, his soft voice carrying through the dance music.
Somehow, I managed a croaked, “Hi.” Mr. Personality, that’s me.
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18 comments:
I don't know if it's what you were going for, but I found this snippet to be very sweet. I love the awkwardness and believability in the final paragraph.
Charming and believable. Good description.
LOL Very cute and wonderful description! :)
Welcome back! And with such a lovely six as well. I love your protagonists voice.
Love your description and chuckled at his desription of himself in the last sentence. Nice job!
Oops...sorry...Anonymous was me! lol...sometimes my fingers get out of control! lol
Welcome back! Love the humour
Vivien! Glad to see you back. Missed your writing:)
Oh, what a great description--all that eloquence in his head and then all he can say is "Hi." Perfect.
Love the vivid description!
I love the description, you can very easily picture the man in your head! Great six!
Welcome back, Vivien, you've been missed. And, yes, you create the most *human* men with your descriptions. Lovely six.
Love the last line! A great six.
Cute last line! And great description!
He sounds tasty. :)
Glad to have you back! Enjoyed this snippet - I hope his encounter proceeds in a happy direction! Excellent excerpt as always...
First off, you have an awesome blog! Second, what a fabulous six! Your description of this guy made me want to crawl through my computer screen. :D Great work!
I'm so glad you're back! I loved the descriptions, and the cover is beautiful!
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