Celebrating marriage

I'm in the process of planning and getting excited about renewing my wedding vows in October (15 years, woo hoo!), so it seems appropriate to share one of my favorite Twitter Q&As. It's from Valentine's Day 2010, when the Guinness Book of World Record holders for longest marriage, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher married for 85 years, answered questions about marriage.

We should all be so lucky, right?

Weekly weigh-in

So yesterday was my weigh-in. I didn't go last week, because Easter week KILLED me. I was finally feeling better this last week, so buckled down hard and managed to lose both the two pounds I'd gained the week before as well as nearly another pound, putting my total weight loss so far at 15.4 pounds in 10 weeks.

I'm considering that a win.

One of the things helping me so much with this is focusing on a lot of healthy vegetable soups. I made a version of this Creamy Cauliflower Soup on Monday that was just delicious. The changes I made were:

1. I cut down on the olive oil. I was able to soften the onions using only 1 tablespoon instead of the 3 the recipe calls for.
2. In step 3, where you add the remaining water, I also added a teaspoon of curry powder and the ground black pepper so the soup would be infused with the flavors. I love curried cauliflower soup, and this worked like a dream. Even my daughter, who doesn't like cauliflower, couldn't stop gushing about how delicious it was.

Weekly weigh-in

Yesterday was my weigh-in, and it was a great one. I'm down another 2.4 pounds, for a total of 14.6 pounds in the eight weeks I've been doing this. Woo hoo!

The walking is helping tremendously. Both of my kids play ball, and they have to be at their games an hour before it starts to warm-up. In the past, I'd either drop them off and come back for the game, or sit there and read for an hour. Now, I drop them off and then do laps around the park for 45 minutes. Between those and walking the dog, I put in almost twenty miles last week. It adds up, that's for sure.

I know the loss will slow down, but I'm enjoying this stage for as long as it lasts.

Weekly weigh-in

I missed my weigh-in last week due to doctor's appointments and my sick son, so today was my first one in two weeks. I knew it was going to be a good one. Now that my foot is healing, I'm able to move more without having to ice it for long hours at a time. Consequently, I did a lot of walking last week.

So how much was it? Well, I lost 2.8 pounds in two weeks, bringing my seven week total up to 12.2 pounds.

Needless to say, I'm quite chuffed. Slow and steady is going to win this race, and I know I can do it this time.

Doing what I must

I find it ironic that as my internal life comes back to an order I recognize and embrace, my physical is running into walls of pain. It's frustrating, because so much of it seems completely random and out of my control.

See, the women in my family hit their forties and get attacked by arthritis. Though I'm relatively new to that club, my body seems to not care and is throwing a lot at me all at once. I've known I had arthritis in my left hip for two years, but just a couple weeks ago, my rheumatologist announced it's in my toes and hands, too.

Just great.

I've been having problems with my left foot all year, and a trip to the podiatrist decided that the bunion I've tolerated for a decade has now demanded attention. I have surgery for that scheduled in January. Meanwhile, having issues with that foot has affected the other one and my hips, because my gait has changed to accommodate the pain. I strongly suspect I'm developing arthritis in my right hip, now, though I'm holding off on going to the ortho for confirmation until after I've recovered from my surgery. I'm hoping that when things have improved with my left foot, it'll take the pressure off the right side, thus negating any further appointments.

It sucks, because my options are limited. I've been slowly losing weight, or trying to, since I know that it will help relieve the pressure on those joints. This week, I'm headed to the gym to see if they have a personal trainer on staff who's familiar with pain issues so I can start strengthening exercises that will help. I take all the recommended supplements, but because I know I have a lifetime of struggling ahead of me, I avoid painkillers unless I really need them. There will come a day when I won't be able to tolerate it as much as I do now.

Of course, I also have hip replacement surgeries in my future, too. Isn't growing older grand?

Yesterday was a bad day. They've been frequent lately because of the feet issues. But I'm charging through as best I can, because honestly, what alternative is there? Life is too short. I'll hate my body for it all, of course, but that won't change the fact that I will do what I must.

That's the biggest lesson I've learned this year. It can all be taken away from us at a moment's notice. I'm getting as much out of life as I can.

Vitamin sunlight

While part of my taking charge of my health has been eating better and exercising, another part involved getting myself checked out by a rheumatologist. Arthritis hits the women in my family hard, so I want to be prepared. I'd been having aches and pains in my joints for a few months, so it seemed like a natural step.

What the doctor discovered was that I had a severe vitamin D deficiency, something that apparently is on the rise in the US. I was put on a supplement to try and get my levels into a healthy range.

I don't know if that's happened yet. I get my blood checked again in December. But I do know that it's working. It's almost amazing how different I feel (when I'm not suffering from a cold and an ear infection, that is, lol). I'm sleeping better and less. I have more energy throughout the day. Most of my aches and pains are gone.

This week, I discovered another bonus side effect. I had a hair appointment on Tuesday, and the second I sat down in the chair, my stylist--who I've been seeing for two years now--said, "What have you been using on your hair?"

Now, I knew my hair was growing faster. I'd figured that part out on my own. But apparently, it's also getting thicker, enough so that she knew before she ever laid on a finger on me. Because I've changed nothing in my routines except for that vitamin D.

Honestly? Figuring out and addressing this deficiency has been the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. Who knew it could create such problems?

Make it all matter

Yesterday, one of my favorite girl geeks had a spread on Lifehacker about how she worked. I'm talking about Felicia Day, one of the forces behind The Guild and Geek & Sundry. She's an actress, a writer, a producer, a reader, and so much more. Yes, I'll freely admit to having a major crush on her. I mean, who wouldn't? She's smart and adorable.

One of the things she said really hit home for me. When asked what the best advice she'd ever received was, she had this to say:

"The way you do one thing, is the way you do everything." I heard that in an acting class and it resonates with me every day. Especially when I'm feeling tempted to half-ass something.

I think that might be some of the smartest advice I've ever heard, the kind I'm definitely going to pass on to my kids. I mean, it's applicable across the board. Creative pursuits. Relationships. Education. Apply the same levels of respect and diligence to everything that matters in your life, and your odds for benefiting from them grow exponentially.

For writing, that can mean not cobbling a story together just for the sake of doing so. Invest in the characters and emotions in all of your work. Make every word matter.

Make everything matter.

Flexibility is important

My husband and daughter have been suffering with a cold the past week or so, but I'd been doing pretty good about resisting it.

Until Monday night.

I have officially lost that battle.

Considering how much international flying I did this year, it's a minor miracle this is my first real cold of 2012. The problem is, however, I don't want to exercise because I can't breathe right, and I could give two figs about eating right since my body is rebelling on me anyway.

So I've given myself permission to be a little lax until I improve.

On health stuff, anyway. Not on writing. I'm sticking with my daily quotas, no matter what.

Exercise wins

I talked about losing weight before my hiatus, but I've attacked the entire process with new vigor ever since returning from the UK. I'm back to counting calories with LoseIt, but exercising presented a different problem.

See, it gets hot here in the summertime. Triple digits in August and September isn't unheard of. And our elliptical machine sits in the garage, which, in the throes of that kind of heat, turns into an oven.

So using the machine to burn calories? Probably not in my best interest right now.

With that in mind, I started up my membership at the gym again. It's a fifteen minute walk from my house so on top of whatever I do there, I can very easily add in a half hour of walking, too. I have plans to try yoga out - they offer a beginner's/gentle yoga course - but first on the schedule is water aerobics. It's actually pretty ideal for me. I have wonky joints, and specifically arthritis in my hip and foot (and how much do I hate that I have osteoarthritis before I'm 45, blech), so being in the water helps take the pressure of them, making it easier to stick it out for the full fifty minutes.

But I won't pretend to like it. Exercising is not my idea of a good time.

On the other hand, neither are health problems.

So...exercise wins.

Adding in the exercise

Now that my inlaws are back in England, and my life has resumed some of its (normal) routine, I have moved on to the next step of getting healthier.

Exercise.

It should be a four-letter word, shouldn't it?

I hate it, I'll admit it. Though I played baseball as a kid, I was a sprinter not a long distance runner. I'm good with exertion in short stints, very good even, but stamina and I are not good friends. There have been times in my life when I got onto the exercise bandwagon, but honestly, those were times when things were less hectic--before kids, before two transcontinental moves, before writing. Fitting exercise in these days is a lot harder than it used to be.

But my weight loss has plateaued. And I know it's better for me to be moving. And as much as I hate it, I need to find a way of scheduling it in.

It's not as difficult as it could be. A few years ago, my husband and I took the money we were shelling out for a gym and bought an elliptical machine for home. That was all we ever really used regularly at the gym anyway. It sits in the garage, complete with a shelf to set a laptop or iPad on to watch as it gets used.

I added that last week. My calves haven't completely forgiven me yet.

I'm alternating the elliptical with toning exercises while I watch TV at night. Often I would sit on the couch with some kind of craft project or my laptop while I watched, but I decided that I can use half an hour of that time to get on the floor and target those areas that need it.

My thighs aren't speaking to me, either.

That's okay. I know they will eventually. Because the rewards for doing this will eventually be noticeable.

Do you hate exercise as much as I do?

Lose It

In my busy life, anything that makes it easier is appreciated. It's always been that way. When I've gone on diet plans in the past and succeeded, it did so because of broad rules. "Eat as much as you want from these basic foods," kind of mentality. Even Weight Watchers had that plan, because I had to face facts, I hated counted calories or portions.

Now that I'm older, that kind of general thinking wasn't really working well. Last spring, my husband reached his breaking point about his weight and opted to try a calorie counting app called Lose It. He showed so much success in that first month, and I had to count everything for him anyway so he could log it, I decided to give it a go.

I fully believe that accountability, that knowing of how big my portion is and tracking my calories, is in large part responsible for the success I've had this time.

Even over the holidays, when we pretty much stopped tracking because we weren't so much losing as just holding ground, the mentality that Lose It instilled prevailed. We were always aware of portion sizes, and times when we could be better about calories, we certainly took them. Now, I'm ultra-aware of just how oversized everything really is, as well as how many different fatty things go into processed and restaurant food to make them taste good.

For some people, they won't care. And I don't blame them. The argument can be made that it's better to enjoy life than cheat yourself. But you know, I don't feel like I'm being denied anything. I can eat what I want as long as I record it and am prepared to face the consequences. For me, the consequences of my weight being unhealthy aren't worth it. There are so many diseases in this world that I can't do much about to prevent. Some of them are genetic. Some of them will happen for no apparent reason. But those related to my weight? Those I can control. And I will. I'm not willing to cut my life shorter because I'm indulging in one particular area. What about wanting to see my kids grow up? Seeing and enjoying grandkids if they have kids of their own? Getting to spend retirement with my husband and enjoy each other's company the way we want? Those are just as important. If not more so.

What I'm grateful for

Today is Thanksgiving here in the US, which means different things for different people. Being married to a Brit and living in the UK, I didn't celebrate it for a few years, but since we've moved back, it's slowly trickled back into our lives. I don't get to have dinner with family as mine lives primarily on the east coast. Instead, we have friends over, and the day turns into a three-day fest of everything we're most grateful for.

This year has been a lot of ups and downs in a lot of ways, but focusing on what I'm grateful for will help me not focus on the downs so much.

Like...

...my husband. I met my husband at a very low point in my life, an awful situation he helped extract me from. Since then, he's been my best friend and biggest fan, and I'm grateful every day that I was lucky enough to find him when I did.

...my kids. My daughter is 11 about to be 12, my son turns 10 in three weeks. They're at ages where they're asserting independence far more than they ever did before, so we've had some minor tiffs as we find a new balance in the house, but honestly, they're such great kids. They're smart and polite, so well-behaved it's embarrassing sometimes. And they still think I'm cool, which is always great to hear. I love them to the moon and back, and am grateful every day I have them.

...not having to worry about day to day economic problems. My husband has job security up the wazoo, which in this economy is a godsend. I'm grateful that I can still have fun with my writing without feeling the pressure. It's about creating stories I want, which is always a bonus.

...knowing so many truly cool people. I can't begin to list the people who inspire me to be better on a daily basis, just because of who they are. But I'd like to think they know who they are.

I could go on and list silly, individual items like my iPad, or Starbucks mocha light frappuccinos, or pretty jewelry, but I won't. These are nice, but transitory items. The real gems to treasure are those that don't disappear after a day.

Where I've been

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was a chubby baby, a plump child, a curvy teenager. I moved away for college a size 14, a size I maintained for several years until an abusive relationship sent my weight upward. When I finally managed to escape that five very long years later, I worked through diet and exercise to get some of it off, and eventually found my 14s - and occasional 12s - again.

Then I moved to England to get married. I got pregnant quickly, and the weight crept back on. I got pregnant again when my daughter was a year old, and more weight came back. After my son's birth, I decided to do something about it since I was done being the baby factory, and worked to get down to the lowest weight I'd had as an adult, even getting into size 10s, which I'd never done before in my life.

When we moved back to the US, everything went to hell again. American-sized portions. Foods I hadn't had in five years. The stress of living in a part of the world where my nearest family was thousands of miles away, and I had two children under the age of four. The weight came back. And more.

Fast-forward to January 2011. I'd been having problems with my hip, and an appointment with an orthopedist confirmed it was arthritis. "You're obviously too young for a hip transplant," he said, "so this will be about pain management for quite a while." The one thing I knew for sure would help would be finally losing weight for good. For every pound lost, that's four pounds of pressure off my joints. It was healthier for me, too. I have a history of adult-onset diabetes in my family as well as heart problems. Now was the time to start taking care of myself.

Well, now turned out to be May 30, lol. I needed the right mindset, as well as time to really tackle it. As of today, just over 5 months later, I've lost 33 pounds and have gone from an 18/20 to 12/14. I'm not done. I'm a little over halfway to the goal I set for myself, though if I can get to it, I might end up aiming a little lower. We'll see how my health is when I get there.

Part of what I'm hoping to do as I get healthier is create accountability. That means talking about what I'm doing, passing along my tools, using Thursdays on my blog as a sounding board. Today, that means talking about where I've been. Next Thursday, it'll mean talking about how I'm getting to my final destination.