Time for the Weekend Writing Warriors!
For the next couple months, I'm highlighting sentences from my Boys of the Zodiac novel, the m/m action/adventure erotic romance, Aries: Riddle Me Wicked. Last time, Ian and Lucas realized they'd been found and were trying to get out of the hotel parking lot before they were spotted. This segment continues on immediately from the end of last time's...
“Maybe you should just hit him.”
“Tempting.”
But Ian swerved before the man spotted them. The tires
squealed, and the rear jackknifed for a fraction of a second before Ian got it
under control again. Lucas twisted to peer out the rear window, searching the
front of the hotel.
Their would-be assailant wasn’t there. He ran along the
sidewalk, chasing after them with his gun already in hand.
“We’ve got a tail,” Lucas said.
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12 comments:
Oh, great action scene here. Love this snippet. And in case I haven't mentioned it before, I LOVE the cover of this book. Love it!
Great action in this snippet. I'm looking forward to what comes next!
uh--doesn't "Jacknifed" imply bending at a joint, like a semi and its cab? Maybe "skidded?" Otherwise, great action.
Nice action! Exciting and tense.
One suggestion/correction though...
Unless they're driving an 18 wheeler, "fishtailed" would be a better verb than "jackknifed."
Oh, something else.
"Their would-be assailant wasn’t there. He ran along the sidewalk, chasing after them with his gu"
If their would-be assailant isn't there, then who's running along the sidewalk? Just a tad confusing.
OK, gotta love a chase scene, including the heat-of-the-moment decision and twists and turns. Lots of action in eight short sentences.
Thanks for the comments, everyone, though as the book came out at AQP three years ago, I can't change anything unfortunately.
Enjoyed the excerpt, full of action but I could really visualize the scene!
I love the matter-of-fact remark at the end. So calm and yet the situation is anything but. Great snippet, Vivien. :)
Super action! Love a good chase scene!
Ooh, nice action. I hope they can hit some clear pavement to put distance between the car and the man on foot!
Love actions scene. They are so hard to write!
Great action scene. Those are tough to write!
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