“...If I’d had anything at all to do with sharing my design, I’d remember.”
The shake of his head could only be described as forlorn. “Not if you’d erased me.”
“If I’d erased you, you wouldn’t be standing right there, annoying me to death.”
“You can’t die.”
“How do you know that?”
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40 comments:
Ooh, I'm hooked! Very cool.
So compelling and intriguing! Great job :)
Hmm... interesting setup. Exactly what do they mean by erasing people?? I like the voices, and the idea of the power tattoo.
I missed the list deadline for this week, but I did get six sentences up! http://kelworthfiles.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/six-sentence-sunday-more-from-children/
The "erasing" is very interesting. :)
Fantastic dialogue! Sucked me right in. I want to know why he can't die!
So intriguing! I'm a total tattoo fan so this hooked me!
Wow, the frustration of memory loss. Well done six, Vivien. :)
Definitely intriguing. Readers also get a sense of their relationship, too. And can't die as in "I don't want you to die?" Or physically can't? Many questions here.
Intriguing six. Thanks.
I like this world building you're doing as your characters reveal"the rules" as the story unfolds. Fantastic six!
I like the intensity here. "Erased", but yet...not. As everyone else has said, very intriguing. Great six, Vivien! Happy Holidays to you!
Erasing? You have me intrigued.
Intriguing! Excellent teaser.
Enticing, Vivien. I want to know--what's this about erasing people, what power does the tattoo have, and why can't Caleb die? Great snippet--thanks for sharing!
Great snippet! Definitely hooked.
Intriguing!
Ooh, I'm intrigued. That last line seems to indicate that Leandro knows more about Caleb than he should. Nice hook to want to read more.
Do I smell a paradox brewing here?
Oooh, paranormal-intriguing. Luv it!
Captivating six, Vivien!
They apparently have a lot of backstory together and a lot to figure out! Love the use of the tattoo. Excellent excerpt!
Not in Kansas Anymore, but that setting is subtly conveyed. Nice work.
WOW. Awesome six, I want to read more.
Loved the dialogue! And "erased" is an interesting term. You definitely hooked me!
Nicely done. Erased? Can't die? The zodiac? Sounds very intriguing.
Excellent six!
Yikes! The idea of being able to erase someone from your memory and then seeing this 'proof' that you knew them...so fascinating.
Intrigued by your world-building. What a fantastic excerpt!
Wow! I love the mystery you packed into six sentence. It's good to meet you on SSS.
Great six and very intringuing!! I look forward to checking out your next post. Have a great holiday!! :)
Ohh! Love this. Amazing how much mystery can be packed into six sentences. Can't wait to read more!
I'm especially intrigued by "You can't die." WOW. Great six!
That's an attention getter! Great job.
I feel so bad for Leandro. It would be terrible to think someone you cared about simply erased you (however that's done!). Can't wait to read more.
I'm wondering if it's 'erasing' as in just wiping a memory or actually the person. Hmmm...
:-) I'll be returning this is sucha powerful hook.
Wow. Very interesting...
I'm intrigued already! Well done.
Happy holidays! :)
Tense moment!
"You can't die." Interesting! It made me wonder. Why can't he die? Hmm....
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