Playing to the Public

I've taken guitar lessons off and on for the past ten years. I started out on an acoustic but switched over to electric fairly early and now do everything on my wood Fender strat. His name is William, by the way. Delilah, my acoustic, was very annoyed with me when I abandoned her for his blond sleek good looks.

Anyway, I just noodle. I don't practice much because it always seems like there's something else I should be doing, but I love my teacher and I love having a half hour each week that's just for me, so I keep at it.

My problem is, he's nagging me about playing for his recital. I've gotten out of it the past few times with other conflicts, and frankly, I'm hoping RT conflicts with it this year, but I know I'm letting him down when I back out of it. But the truth is, it doesn't matter how good I might be at home. I'm not nearly comfortable with my skills to play in front of strangers. Music isn't my forte. I know this. It's not like when I was acting. I never really had any doubts about my abilities then. But this...man, it's terrifying.

He's giving me options, either play an ensemble piece that's harder or a solo piece that's simpler. I don't like either one, but I have to choose today. If I pick the ensemble and then screw up, I'm letting down other people which is frankly worse than sounding bad on my own. But the latter is scarier by a mile. I would very likely do "Beautiful Boy" which is a song I love.

Decisions, decisions.

Tapping other creative sources

In my mid 30s, I decided I wanted to take guitar lessons. I'm not sure what sparked it. Probably a celebrity crush on some musician. It wouldn't be my first instrument - I learned how to play piano and flute as a child - but it was still pretty foreign to me. I like music, but I'm not as rabid about it as some people I know. I suck at remembering lyrics and titles to songs. I don't like it playing in the background when I'm working. I don't really have an ear for picking things out in songs.

But I find playing relaxing, something I rediscovered when I took those lessons. Then we moved to our current house, and I was too far away to keep the lessons up so I stopped.

Fast forward four years. Yesterday, I played my guitar in front of a teacher again.

My musical daughter is in jazz band, symphonic, as well as chorus. She plays piano and flute like I did and has an incredibly pure, beautiful voice. Her best friend plays bass guitar in their jazz band, so my daughter decided she wanted to learn guitar, too, and asked me for lessons. I said yes, mostly because her BFF's teacher came so glowingly recommended.

I signed up again for a few reasons. I missed it. I really wanted that release again. Plus, she wanted us to have this together, and really, how can I resist that? My thirteen-year-old daughter is actively seeking an activity we can share just the two of us? What mom wouldn't jump at that? So I did.

My fingers are killing me today. All of my calluses are gone, so it'll take some time to get those back. But I love how it energizes me. I love how my brain won't stop now. I love that my daughter and I can have this together, though I imagine she's going to leave me behind in the dust fairly quickly.

And see the two beauties in the post? The blond is William, my electric Fender that I'm using, and the blue one is Delilah, my acoustic that my daughter is learning on. If she really gets into it like I think she will, we'll probably end up letting her get her own for Christmas.